STINGS AND STITCHES

                                     

Forgetting him was impossible. As impossible as seeing a shadow in the dark. Nnenna lay on her back, with eyes working tirelessly on the ceiling. It's been 7years since he left, 7years of excruciating pain. Tears formed in her eyes as she reminisced over the short yet heart-melting memory she had of him.

His physiques registered in her mind, this time more vividly. His weakening smile and his broad shoulders gave his neck enough impetus to carry his large head. Yea, beautiful large head. She could still hear the echo of his voice, his thunderous laughter which sent her to Limbo. 

  It was one of the Saturdays in February, a day synonymous with weddings. Nnenna was all dressed for her friend's conjugal celebration, that which every woman dreams of. She was, of course, the maid of honor. Who else would have fitted in if not the bride's bestie?

After the conjugal mass, came the reception. A glamorous event with love filling the air; One would easily fall in love by just staring at the couple.

 "I pray you to find him today", Nnenna's mum whispered to her. She obviously had waited enough, with no sign of anything that looked like a serious man approaching her daughter after the last hell of a relationship.

 "You have to find him today ", she murmured, this time with a nudge. Though irritated, Nnenna couldn't protest. Her mum wasn't wrong after all, for age wasn't in her favor anymore. She had given up on love after her ordeal with Ken. She hated men for this and hated herself for being so unlucky.

  The wedding reception continued with the chattering of glasses and utensils amidst laughter. It was almost at the climax of the celebration that her eyes caught that of Josh. 

"Why is he staring with so much seriousness? Is there a problem? " Nnenna whispered to her best friend. His gaze didn't leave her even after every effort to make him retreat. It was as though his eyes burrowed with the intention of tearing her, limbs apart. Irritated, she left for the restroom. 

"How audacious!! "She blurted out. With eyes fixated on her fist.

"Tell me about it, black diamond" a voice from behind mustered in a flirtatious tone. 

"You?", She shot at him. Anger registered all over her face. He drew closer so that their bodies could touch. She swallowed hard with her eyes shut. There was something about him that mesmerized her. Was it his gut or his physique? She couldn't tell.

 "Yes, I", he answered as his fingers worked their way down her cheeks. 

"Mum, mum!! Are you okay?"

Nnenna snapped out of subconsciousness. It was Junior calling.

 "Oh my son, I am sorry", she said, not certain of how long she has walked down memory lane.

"I'm hungry", he said, rubbing his already deflated belly. Looking at her son, she gave a wry smile. He was the fruit of her love, the love that deprived her of happiness. Junior was the replica of Josh. With him around, Nnenna felt Josh's presence. A reality she has come to accept. As much as she loved her son, she hated the memories he came with.

"There's a bowl of Eba and soup in the cupboard. You can manage that while I make arrangements for breakfast tomorrow" Nnenna pleaded.

 "I do not want Eba. I want corn flakes ", Josh thundered.

Unsure of what to say, Nnenna pulled him closer. "You'll eat cornflakes tomorrow, just manage for tonight ".

"That was what you said yesterday. That's what you always say" his face turned red as he shot her a questioning look. "Why can't we eat what we want? When is tomorrow going to come, mum?".

She hugged him so tight, fighting back the flood of tears that were already breaking free. "You'll eat cornflakes tomorrow my love. Tomorrow"

  

Watching Junior eat sent a rush of emotions down her spine. He ate exactly like his father. Looking at him, she remembers her first date with Josh. He was all shades of gorgeous that evening. She liked the way he looked at her. One which depicts admiration and desire. His eyes dug deep into her heart while his mouth said the most beautiful things she ever heard. She loved him already. Although it felt weird, she cared less. What mattered was that love found her, or so she thought.

**************************

"Mum!" Junior yelled again. This time, with inquisitive eyes. 

startled and embarrassed, Nnenna let out a smile as she evaded his eyes. She knew how sensitive junior could be and wasn't ready for an interview.

 "It's late mum. Let's sleep already ".

She smiled again, this time, from the depth of her heart. She loved her son regardless of the circumstances. To her, he is such an amazing man in a boy's skin.

  The night seemed too long as the morning wasn't forthcoming. Nnenna couldn't find the least sleep possible. Thoughts of the ugly experiences from the past 7 years kept coming back.

At the first Shutting off her eyelids, she remembered the disappointed and judgmental eyes that family members shot at her at the news of her pregnancy. The cruel words landed on her like the Biblical stones used in killing St Stephen. She remembered clearly the words of her father.

"Do not return to this house without the father of that child"

Forcing her eyes open, she let the already formed hot-blood-tasting tears flow. How it hurts to lose the family that once gave you everything. She turned to look at her son for distraction. He looked so innocent in his sleep. Same innocence that had her falling head over heels for his father.

She shut her eyes again in a bid to find sleep but found memories instead. This time, it was the day that caused her conception. 

It was a beautiful Friday evening in Josh's apartment. They just had a candlelight dinner. her first. She was excited to share such an experience with the man of her dreams.

She was still lost in her world of fantasy when she felt his lips on hers. it was a feeling of shock and excitement at a time. He tasted sweet, as sweet as he looked.

 With a treacherous smile,he took her hands to his and they made for the bedroom. She could remember everything. How his masculine body pressed against hers with his hands finding every sensitive part of her. How gently he nibbled her, taking as much as he could get. She could feel his swelling gliding against her. Gosh! He was so hot, it made her quiver in utter excitement. His lips made their way up, kissing her from the toe. His hands parted her thighs as his tongue traveled the way leading to her cunt. His tongue found her cunt, hot, wet, and ready to the devoured. 

Oh! She loved every second that passes.

She could remember everything. Was it the magic he did to her body, or The sweet profession and the endless promises he made whilst his lips feasted on hers like a starving lion? She couldn't tell which she loved more.

With an intense gaze, he raised her hips so that they were on his lap, then he plunged in. Hot, full, and energetic. He rode her to limbo, with every stroke giving her inexplicable pleasure. She couldn't believe a man could make her feel this way as she moaned in ecstasy. Oh! She couldn't feel her legs anymore... she just couldn't...

************************

"Mum...mum wake up it's morning already " junior tapped his mother, unsure if she was asleep or awake. She was wearing a smile. 

"Mummy!!" He called out again supporting with a mild slap.

 "Jesus!!! " she shouted, the rays of the sun almost blinding her. "Is it morning already? " She asked, rubbing her eyes.

Junior was ready for school and only woke her to get money for snacks. "Mum i am late already " he looked worried. He was always punctual to school and was religious about it. Nnenna untied the edge of her wrapper where she always keep her money, brought out a few nairas, and gave it to junior. On getting the money, he dashed out, running as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

  

It was mid-afternoon already. The sun punched the earth mercilessly with a clenched fist. Nnenna sat under the bamboo tree whose shade saved people from the wrath of the sun. She could see her son from a distance. School hours were over so children returned to their various homes. As he drew closer, Nnenna noticed something unusual. He looked pale coupled with a hesitant walk. Nnenna ran to meet him. "What is wrong my child?" she hurriedly asked, with worry registered on her face. His face was weary from crying.

"where is my daddy?", he asked without looking her way. 

Shocked by the question, Nnenna lacked words. She never expected such a question nor was she prepared to face her fears. She was hurt. seeing junior hurt because of her mistake dealt her a big blow. She didn't know how to face him. How was she supposed to tell him that his father rejected him even before his birth and left her to suffer alone in abject penury?

How was she supposed to tell him that Josh's family threw her out of their home because they felt she was too classless to match his status? How was she supposed to tell her son that she's all he has to call family? She can bear anything, anything but to see her son suffer emotionally. She would rather suffer alone than have her mini-josh go through this hell of pain and rejection. 

"My friends laughed at me today, mum. They said I'm fatherless. They called me a bastard. Is that true? Am I really a bastard? Tell me where my daddy is!" He demanded, crying profusely. 

"Your Daddy is in heaven, junior" she lied, trying to look convincing. "Daddy is happy in heaven, baby. And someday we'll reunite with him"

She hugged him tight, afraid that losing grip of him might result to losing another Josh, her mini Josh. She cried with him as they stood under the mercy of the sun...

To junior, daddy is in heaven but to Nnenna, Josh is very much alive. Not just because he is truly alive but because she sees him in the body of her son.

                          

 ************